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Maiara Musings

"Problems can not be solved by the level of awareness that created them" Albert Einstein

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Picture taken by Maiara

“….It is difficult to write about something you know nothing about. I have completely lost myself in the middle of stormy sea of life without a lifeboat or the conventional instincts for survival. All I have is this confused, doubting and totally scared me. After years of aimlessly floating circles on that sea of life in the midst of the thick, never-ending fog that has relentlessly surrounded me, the fog has finally started to thin. Occasional sun rays are now searching and even reaching this confused mind of mine. My goal is to find land, set foot on solid ground and start a new authentic life. A life void of fog and confusion but filled with abundance of light, beautiful vistas and exciting side roads. During my trip new  connections will be made with the fellow travelers who radiate positive energy towards me  and who genuinely respect me. Mostly though I will be content to do my journey in silence and observance with complete self acceptance and inner peace…..”

Yes, that’s me, Maiara (mind you Maiara is my writer’s name, that I have adopted. I have always thought that a writer should have an alias). This was a piece from one of my essays and it describes me quite well. I have finally found the courage to set my foot on that shore and I am almost there. I, paradoxically enough, got my courage to leave my narcissist husband the moment I sat at the doctor’s office and he declared I have cancer. That was defining moment of my life and I realized that not only have I lost 20 years of my life to a man who has never once looked at me admiringly and told me I am wonderful but in a process I have lost myself completely.  The first thing I did after my surgeries and when I was declared cancer free was to inform my ex that I want divorce. So here I am, quite clueless to tell you the truth, writing a blog in case I can help someone else to cope with what I have been through and just trying to find my voice. 

Year 2014 is reaching towards the end now and I have had Maiara Musings about 2 1/2 years now. By the end of the year my blog has surpassed 6000 visitors. I am not single anymore, but have met my soul mate, the man I waited all these years. He is everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. We are in a long distance relationship, with the plan of us getting married and me moving countries once more, after my kids are adults. For now, we just travel back and forth and it is working wonderfully. I am very humbled that my blog is so popular and that everyday I get visitors even though I don’t really do much posting. I have to thank you all for taking your time to come and visit. And just for curiosity I tell you that so far I have had visitors from 111 countries. This blog is more like a place where I write down my dreams, my thoughts and odd pieces of information coming my way. Personally I believe in quality rather than quantity, so this is not a very active blog in a sense of posting frequency nor does it have a theme, I just love to write and think. The end result of that being totally random posts.

Thank you so much for visiting and I hope that you have a chance to read some of my essays and odd poems. My favorite being the “Fish Dreams” it is silly poem, and I ain’t poet but I certainly had so much fun writing it.

Sincerely

Maiara

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